Birthday Squeals and Pumpkin Pie Memories: Curating Celebration in the Lives of Arizona’s Foster Children

By: Samantha Miller

April 25, 2024

PHOENIX - The shriek of excitement demanded everyone’s attention. Gloria Ayala, the Arizona Foster Alliance Program Development Manager, remembers hearing the commotion while chatting in the front lobby with her supervisor, her focus quickly drawn away to watch as a brand-new bike was wheeled out into the lobby. 

“What the! A bike!,” said a young boy, almost screaming, as he immediately began to try to get on the bike, feeling overwhelmed with excitement. 

The recipient, a child in Arizona's Foster Care System, received the bike as part of his Birthday Bag. These birthday packages, created by the Arizona Foster Alliance, give kids in foster care an opportunity to celebrate their special day with personalized gifts for throwing what may be their first-ever birthday party. For Arizona’s many foster kids, personal celebration and healthy identity are a painfully absent part of life. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “in foster care, ongoing uncertainty, multiple losses, and transitions can further erode a child’s or teen’s sense of self,” compounding the traumatic experiences the child has likely already faced. The Arizona Foster Alliance, as well as Grand Canyon University’s (GCU) Fostering Futures Program, are working to combat this erosion with celebration-centered outreach.

Foster Care in Arizona

According to the Arizona Department of Child Safety, as of June 30, 2023, there are 10,900 children residing in out-of-home care in Arizona, and 3,215 of these children have been in out-of-home care for over two years. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “children and teens thrive when their families have routines, structure, and reasonable expectations.” Unfortunately, living in out-of-home care often prevents the presence of these healthy personal development factors for foster children, replacing them instead with challenging transitions such as separation from siblings or changes in foster home placement. 

According to Yasaman Tabrizi, the Foster Alliance Program Manager, these processes can leave the self-esteem of these children “shot,” raising questions like, “I’ve been moved to home from home. Why didn’t somebody want me? Why didn’t my parents want me?” 

Enduring these experiences can impact foster children for a lifetime. As children grow older, according to a study from the National Library of Medicine, “adolescents with foster care histories have described related limitations on their opportunities for typical identity development, such as disconnection from peers, family impermanence, stigma around being in foster care, and premature independence or self-reliance.”

The Arizona Foster Alliance

The Arizona Foster Alliance began serving the population facing these obstacles in 2013, when, according to Gloria Ayala, it was brought to the attention of the Foster Alliance by foster families and case managers that many foster children in Arizona were often not receiving any form of celebration on their birthday each year. The Birthday Bag program was born in response to this need, as the Arizona Foster Alliance believes that “all foster children should receive the joy, self-esteem growth, and beautiful memories that a birthday celebration provides.” The program has since grown extensively, and, in 2022, the Foster Alliance was able to gift 1,754 Birthday Bags to children in Arizona Foster Care.

Each Birthday Bag is created specifically for its unique recipient. The Foster Alliance works in partnership with caseworkers and foster parents to learn the child’s favorite themes and birthday gift requests, and then volunteers pack the birthday bag to match this information. Even the bag itself is hand-decorated by a volunteer to correspond with the child’s interests, making sure that the recipient feels seen and appreciated in every aspect of their “party.” 

 “It’s important to instill in them that the birthday celebration isn’t just a birthday celebration, it’s to celebrate you. We’re so happy that you are the person that you are,” said Tabrizi, when discussing the program. 

When asked about the role of these gifts in a foster child’s sense of identity, Ayala shared that she believes these intentional celebrations are a way to counter the negative personal narratives that foster care in a child’s perception of their identity, referring back to a memory of a panel she attended featuring former foster children. 

“I remember what one of them said stuck with me. She said, ‘without the people who cared about me, I didn’t care about me.’ Without people who pour into you and make sure you are being set up for success, you maybe don’t feel valued or like you are worth it,” said Ayala. 

The gifts inside the Birthday Bags, such as a fashion sketchbook or a microscope, can also function as a source of encouragement for recipients, pushing them to explore what they might be interested in and motivated by long term. 

“You think of it as just a birthday gift, but it is also motivating them to look deeper into their passions for science, math, or fashion, or drawing,” said Tabrizi.  

GCU Fostering Futures Program

Grand Canyon University’s Fostering Futures Program then makes pursuing these passions long-term possible for foster children in Arizona as they reach adulthood. While enrolled in Fostering Futures, students with a foster care background can attend Grand Canyon University while receiving a scholarship for year-round room and board and tuition, as well as access to a community of fellow students and staff intended to support them as they go through their college journey.

A vital element of this program’s structure is celebration as Brandi Turner, the GCU Fostering Futures Administrator, is passionate about curating special celebrations. In the past, these events have included Christmas gift-giving, sharing Costco pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving, and, a fan favorite, competitive game nights. While approached in a variety of ways, all events are intended to build fun, safe camaraderie. 

“I know we are not your biological family, but we are your GCU family,” said Turner. 

This family built by celebration, along with the stability that Turner believes these students find at GCU, creates a safe space for students to explore self-identity in a way that they may not have been able to before in a foster care setting. Here, according to Turner, students have the “ability to enjoy every single moment,” as they experience independence and question their interests while relying on a supportive, encouraging environment. 

As students meet with the larger Fostering Futures family, they also receive a personal GCU mentor to walk with them one-on-one through their college journey and celebrate their wins alongside them. Turner has enjoyed celebration moments with students for everything from passing grades to thirty-month dating anniversaries to rugby game wins. 

“It’s just sometimes remembering the little things…like my team just recognizing the small things and being like, ’Hey, I’m so proud of you,’” said Turner. 

These celebrations, big and small, come back to the same heart for Arizona’s foster children. 

According to Tabrizi, “at the end of the day, they are just children, and they want to feel like any other child would. And I think that what we’re able to do here is give them that feeling that they’re valued. Somebody out there cares for them.”